Lately I spoke to a friend.
Talked, really talked, not about books or shoes or else. But talked about how you really feel inside, in that hidden little corner we never mention to anyone.
I don’t know if it’s the weather (colder and grey-ier than what we’re used to for July). I don’t know if I should blame PMS as usual. Or maybe that video that’s going viral on Facebook, the one where a guy lies in his statuses to make his life look cool, but he’s actually miserable.
Because we do have this habit of showing ourselves at our best, while also keeping quiet about small flaws and cracks. But then again the cracks widen, they become huge holes, and you don’t know what to do with yourself.
Yet Euforilla was born for this as well: there was no one who said “This makes me feel bad”, so we all ended up feeling lonely and loosers.
Now, I’m not saying my life sucks, at all: my “Musa’s boxes” have precisely this purpose,, to remind myself that, even though some things are not the way I’d like them to be, there are many more things that I can be glad about (health, a loving family, a home, coins in a jar).
But listening to people who say “Look at those ones, they’re having it worse than you do” is not helpful. It’s not by comparison that you feel better, it’s through comprehension and understanding.
Then, by chance, I find an image, a simple list written in a cute way.
A way to give thanks for negative stuff as well, for those things we usually complain about.
So here’s mine:
– thanx for those moments of anxiety, because it means I still have something I care enough about to get worried
– thanx for those disconnections moments, because it means I still can tell what’s fake and what’s real
– thanx for the grocery shopping made looking both at ingredients and prices, because it means I can still choose how to spend my money
– thanx for cat hair all over my home, because it means I have a little and healthy furry friend to fill my life
– thanx for the shower drain clogged with our, mine and his, hair, because it means we are two in this home (and that I do have a home, a bathroom, a way to care for myself)
– thanx for my failed craft experiments, because it means I still have the will to test myself
– thanx for the “whiny” texts and phonecalls with my friends, because it means I still have friends who want to listen to me and who truly get me
– thanx for those friends who come to me to vent out and complain and cry, I’m not happy that they are feeling bad, but this means they trust me… and that they have a voice and a way to vent out
– thanx for my scarce income, that I get out of small jobs, because it means I’m thoughing up and I have the strength and creativity to stay afloat
– thanx for those assholes in the job world, because it means I can think about myself first without feeling guilty
– thanx for past bad experiences, because I can now use them as teaching examples when I need to comfort my little cousin
– thanx to the wrinkles on my dearest faces, because it means we’re all getting older together
On more cheerful notes, since I can’t resist, here’s also a “usual” list:
– a weekend that felt like holiday: biking around, dinner downtown, a walk with a good icecream, a walk through a thrift and vintage stallmarket
– a slightly steampunk pocketwatch/necklace
– trying to salvage the fruits I had in the fridge and that was turning bad, by making jam, using the bread machine (it has just the right programme), also to try and bottle up a little of this wonderful and perfect weekend for this winter… it came out very good, a wonderful orange colour from peaches and apricots!
– bees being incredibly noisy in our neighbour’s jasmine hedge… with all the things you hear about dying bees it’s nice to see that there are still a lot around, being very much alive (and after reading that book about a beekeeper, I was feeling pretty quiet and confident by walking by:))
– writing an expiration date, so liberating!
– writing posts ahead
– “kintsugi“, the japanese technique of restoring and embellishing something broken, with gold leaf, thus making unique, rare and precious pieces, that are now more important and valuable because they have a story to tell. I think I’ll try and make a “cheaper” version with my broken vase and paint 😛
– the wonderful blue skies of these days, I can’t remember a July so blue around here!
– our couscous/tabbouleh
– starting over an Harry Potter “slow marathon” (one movie per night)
– mythological creatures