Gone with the shyness part 1

screenshot by me, from Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland DVD

I think that everybody is shy, at least a little, at least towards some aspects in life.
Otherwise we would have many more showoff brats.
And I also think that some of these showoffs are behaving like that to hide their “flaws”, shyness it is.

A lot of big brains, since the past, have praised shyness: it’s the virtue of the thinker, it helps thoughtfulness and wisdom, not to mention how fragile and mysterious ladies and their flushing cheeks were seen as intriguing.
Plus, lately I’ve been reading about books that deal with shyness as some survival/evolution element: the shy one has the perfect instinct to detect dangerous situations, so that he learns to run away, saving his life, perpetuating the species.

Sounds like rabbits, isn’t it? Have you ever read “Watership down”? I did, it’s amazing, it makes you wish you where a rabbit! But let’s get back on track, I could get lost talking about bunnies all day long… I’ll have a post on rabbits, don’t fret!

I’m trying to free myself from shyness, since a lot (or what it seems like a lot) of time, and I think I did achieve some results. I’m still not fully satisfied as I would like, but here my latest thoughts come in handy:

1) shyness has many ways to manifest itself, to the point of pathology. For every degree of shyness there is a way out: from challenging yourself, to seek professional medical/psychological help.
2) shyness has different physical manifestations: it’s basically fear, a body reaction to something threatening. The “lizard brain” is responsible for this reaction, and it’s also responsible for instinctual funcions (hearbeat, breathing, blinking…). So, to clarify: when you are “scared” your lizard brain tells your body to be ready to run away, i.e. like moving your blood from it’s regular circulation, all towards your legs so you’re literally ready to run.
3) finally, and blatantly, shyness has a lot of causes, still not clear wich ones, wether they be genetical, behavioural or psychological.

The key to positively react to these state of fear, so they say, is to tell yourself you’re not in danger, you have to focus on rational, practical things, and not on what’s irrational… yeah, right…
Will somebody tell to “those-who-say” that if we could keep calm and think rationally when we feel that rush of blood, that sudden acceleration in the heartbeat, that jump of your heart in your throat, that blush on your cheeks, that dizzy head (wich means it’s quite impossible to stop and think “oh, just wait, I have to cool down, breath in breath out, think rational, practical… this is not rational!”) we wouldn’t be shy in the first place, would we? And we wouldn’t need their cheap advice neither!

Here are some things I’ve actually learned: very often it’s all in our heads, some things have to be accepted as they are, some things have to be planned and prepared and rehearsed and practiced, we’re all on the same boat, “limits” aren’t necessarily something bad, and shyness may not be what it seems at first…

So after this enilghtening, brilliant, super-fresh introduction, I’ve divided this matter in more posts, so that you can digest it all with the time that is due to such a topic.

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