Not your usual new year’s blessings

To hell with new year resolutions, vision boards (even though I have one :P), and everything else that falls in this “new” year frenzy.
Here are some serious blessings I’m sending out, from the pitch black bottom of my Grinch heart.

May you always have a kleenex when needed.
May you never be out of black scrunchies for your hair.
May you always have the spare change to pay a last minute parking.
May you wear bobbypins that hold all day.
May you always get at least the last cookie.
May you always be in time, even if it’s “just” in time.
May you always find a seat on the bus or the train.
May you always find what you want, even if it’s the last one on the shelf.
May you meet nice and polite people.
May you cuddle cuddly cats.
May you get a “good morning” for each “hello” and a “you’re welcome” to each “thank you”.
May you always get the best deal, even if it’s only a 5 cents difference.
May you get often the “I’ll give you a discount ’cause you’re a decent person”.
May you find, in the morning, both your socks.
May you bake perfectly baked cakes, always.
May you toast with a good glass of something, with the right people.
May your tights be sturdy, even against the unforeseen splintered nail.
May you always pick a deodorant that does what it bloody promises.
May you always have your favourite dress clean and ready, right when you wanted to wear it.
May you always win the eyeliner game, maybe not always identical, but at least very very similar.
May you never get ingrown hair.
May you skip PMS (or too much sweets) induced pimples.
May you always find the perfect shade of foundation.
May you always wear comfy shoes, when you need to stand or walk in them.
May you drive, I’m not going to say “always with the green light” because sometimes the red one is needed too, at least in a relaxed traffic.
May you stumble upon your favourite song on the radio from start to finish.
May you eat a chocolate withouth guilt-filling.
May you look at yourself in the mirror every morning and smile.
May you get out of a movie theatre moved or in tears from laughter, but anyway always happy you spent that money on those tickets.
May you be safe from spoilers.
May you wing each and every gift (and also get always spot-on gifts!).
May you always have at least five minutes a day to breathe.
May you always wake up rested.
May you find your favourite book, or discover a new one.
May you find a lucky coin on the ground.
May you only read and believe the best horoscopes.
May you avoid hangnails.
May you always have soft lips (maybe you could splurge a little on a good lipbalm).
May you help, finally, the rosemary to survive the summer, and beyond.
May you cook broccoli, fish or grilled stuff, in the house without making it smell bad.
May you spot the red underpanties in your whites laundry before the washing machine starts.
May you stop ironing clothes without regrets.
May you always find parking near home.
May you always get back the fallen earring.
May you always be ready with a witty comeback, if needed.
May you never have to sew on a button.
May you finally get around repairing that thing you hold so dear.
May you finally print those pictures.
May you always have a pen that writes well.
May you always have a piece of paper when needed.
May you always win something, a little something, even if it’s just a “you can try again!”.
May you get what you wanted with a little discount!
May you always be quick at the cashier’s desk.
May you always light your matches or your stove at the first try.

Basically

bimbo

may you live a 2016 with some goddamn, well deserved, daily little fairy luck.

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