The Right to Complain


Despite the Law of attraction I believe that once in a while we do have the right to complain about something.
Those five minutes when you “spit it” won’t cause you seven years of bad luck (you’re not crashing a mirror.. thehehe), more! As I see it, “spit it” out will do you good.

Still despite the Law of attraction we all remember that car bumper sticker, around the ’70s, the one quoted also in Forrest Gump: “Shit happens”, please excuse my french.
We’re human beings, and it’s perfectly normal for us being bothered by something that gives on our nerves. At this point we need to make two distinctions:
1) There are things you better be upset by, and things you don’t… what matter is to notice the difference: not everything is a matter of life and death, sometimes you better keep calm. It’s healty, believe me, you’ll learn how many things DO NOT get on your nerves at all!
2) most of all, there’s a huge difference between “complain” and “whine”.

Sadly this world population is made also by those people that would feel lost without anything to complain about, people that keep whine about the same issue all the time (or different aspects of the same issue, or different issues all rooted to another old one) and who think that complaining all the time will give them attention, respect, importance… a lot of… seems like having something to complain about is something that gives them expertise and competence on something.*

I will make this example as long as I have voice… or as long as it is carved in stone on every cradle: pow-wow women used to gather once a week, to discuss their problems and seek advice. One week later they checked upon what had been said: if the problem was solved, than goody-good, if it wasn’t solved but new aspects of it emerged, new advices were given, if it wasn’t solved and nothing had been done to solve it there were only two possibilities: solving it for good, with already given advice… or stop whining about it.

Because at some point complaining becomes fun.
Ok, now those who complained a lot about something at least once in theri lives, raise their hands.
Be honest and confess to yourself you have done it. I know. We all did. It’s ok, it’s human.

Good! Well, if you’re still in that phase this is a good chance to stop, I know that now it feels “safe” somehow, a way to fish for pats on the back; for some people it’s something they can relate to, complaining is also stating your identity (we are our problems, aren’t we? …tristesse). Here is where “Law of attraction” comes back in handy, or without calling it names or bothering the Universe, let’s stick to “psychology”.

Any “quest” ends with finding what you were looking for. If you’re looking for strawberries you already know *what* to look for, you need the way to get to it. So you won’t notice oaks, sunsets, trucks or songbirds, but you’ll focus on white little flowers, serrated leaves, red berries, or still green ones.
The same goes for what bothers you: if you focus on something exclusively you’ll notice only those things that will confirm (or not, depends on what you want) your theories. You don’t even notice the rest.

Shall we do an exercise? It looks silly, it’s simple but effective!
If you like you can pretend you’re a witch.

Take a piece of paper, a pen, a small old pot, a panstand and a match.
And start writing, “spit out” everything that annoys you. Be incredibly mean and caustic, don’t hold yourself, write like you were writing with fire.
You can write an entire copybook if you like.
When you’ll be done freeing your mind, decluttering it like Dumbledore’s thinker (just to stay in line with your make-believe), when all your paranoias will inked down, every conspiracy, every clue you picked, every thought, every drop of poison you have… fullstop. Take your time to read all you wrote.
How many times you want to.

Then scrunch up that paper, toss it in the pot (placed on its panstand so nothing will get burned… please please please try not to set your house on fire, maybe do this in the bathroom: at least there’s water in handy!) and light it with the match.
Now enjoy the feeling of liberation you get from watching all your troubles disappear, as light as smoke and ashes, it’s all down to nothing, nothing at all.

You can repeat this exercise as many times as you need. Just be careful not to burn your house down, please!
I won’t take that resposability if you’re the first irresponsibles, ok?!

And it’s done: it’s oke to complain about something that affects you as soon as it happens, to find a solution or simply to “spit it”. Here you need again to be honest with yourselves and admit that you’re in a “whining phase”.
But at least do it for yourself, if you can’t help but stress someone else’s ears, and stop it, quit whining. I can grant you that you’ll feel so much better, after those witchy fieve minutes!

Just think about how much time you save to think about pleasant things, or to eat a cupcake.

* How to spot them: these peoples, and these whines, are negative ones, energy-sucking, though may be concealed because they are not limited to “owchie, my back hurts”, no! They may whine in a subtler way, a generic “topic” about which they keep talking, in a victim-hero way. Don’t be mean, don’t judge, just know that this behaviour comes from an inner frustration or bad feeling (we’ve all been there, we all should know what it’s like). They feel bad enough with themselves, they don’t need our finger pointed ;).
Just steer away gently, and get busy with something better!

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